Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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