Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
