Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
This house was built for laser tag.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Semen is not good for contacts.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
