Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
