im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
