I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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