Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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