my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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