No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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