Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
