Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
