you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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