where am i from again
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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