Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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