Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
