There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
