I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Randomize
