i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
