You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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