david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
