insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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