He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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