Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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