ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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