She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I have tasted many bathrooms
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
