So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
it's great music for shaving your balls
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
