you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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