dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
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