Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
