We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize
