Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
