I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Holy sore nipples Batman
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
