i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
im holly from the hills drunk
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
