Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
