i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize