it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
