Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
