we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
