Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
