No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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