So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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