No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
