i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize