i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
