I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
