right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
