I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just found puke in my bra..
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
