I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I understand Curling. That high.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
