She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
