I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
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