hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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