in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
