the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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