and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Randomize
