I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
