Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
