I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
