: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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