we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
