Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize