You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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