i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
