I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
